Violation of the Bill of Rights

The Eighth amendment to the Constitution of the US, part of the original bill of rights, states: “Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.” Yet, I saw in a shopping mall a flagrant breach of that cherished right. I saw on the food court a stall called “Hot Dog on a Stick”, which serves turkey sausages deep-fried in batter (Needless to say, I did not sample this delight). The uniform that their staff are required to wear look is something that even a clown desperate for laughs would avoid, as you can see from the picture below.

 To be fair, the other product that they sell is excellent. They make freshly squeezed lemonade. Unlike the fizzy drink bearing the name in the UK, which is virtually guaranteed to be free of any natrual fruit, lemonade in the US is a still drink made from the fruit whose name it bears. Hot Dog on a Stick squeezes the lemons on site and it is a wonderfully refreshing drink. 

Not Even a Good Walk

Mark Twain said “Golf is a good walk spoiled.” Here in Palm Desert that is not true. My wife’s cousin’s house looks out over a golf-course and I can assure you that noone’s walk is spoiled by the game; for no one walks the course. Everyone you see drives their buggy along the paths that border each hole; stop as close to their ball as possible, play the stroke and return to their vehicles. How different from golfers in the UK striding through the driving rain to play the game.

Garage Stuff

In the UK many homes lack a garage and those that do are often used as general storage and not as a place to keep the car. This change in purpose is often due to the small width allocated to the garage that makes it difficult to get a car into the garage; especially if you wished to get out of the card afterwards.

We are staying in Palm Desert, about two hours west of where I currently live, in my wife’s cousin’s house. She has a garage wide enough for storage cupboards, two cars, and two golf buggies. Moreover, you can open the doors of the car without any risk of hitting anything. No one here would dream of getting out of their car to lift a heavy door before entering the garage, so the door is electric and the cars have a remote control. Moreover, the heat in the summer here requires that the garage itself is air-conditioned to prevent discomfort for the cars.  Quite different from the damp, narrow garage that was not even attached to our house back in the UK. 

Saturday Night’s Alright

Saturday Night’s Alright (For Fighting), according to Elton John. However, last Saturday night I did something that Elton would undoubtedly prefer to do. Just past 9pm we went out to go shoe shopping. This is not only a strange thing to do, but would not be possible in the UK; department shops have long since closed by 9pm.

My wife and I had been out for a good meal in a first-rate local restaurant (First rate for food and service, the decor is a little…. strange) with an Italian style menu. Eating early, by UK standards, we were back before 8pm. My wife’s brother rang to say that a local department store, Mervyn’s, was having a sale and shoes were up to 70% off ; he was apologetic, as the previous day he had said that Marshalls were having a sale – having got the two stores mixed-up. Mervyn’s was open until 11pm, so out we drove the mile or so down the road to their nearest branch.

The shoe department looked as though a small tornado had blown through; shoes and boxes were littered on the aisles between shelves. The best bargains had already been picked over and taken, but my wife found a “cute” pair of shoes. She loves the opportunity to get a bargain, hence the need to get to to the sale as soon as possible.

So Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting, but even better for shoe shopping.

You Know You’re From LA When…

There is a list of things that mark you as a resident of LA.
As yet, not all of the items apply to me, but there is one that certainly rings true: You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don’t have any.
In N Out is very different from the fast food burger norm of McDonalds. The ingredients are prepared freshly on site, even the potatoes are sliced in the restaurant. The menu consists of just a few items, focused on the burgers. The restaurants are tiled white, with the staff wearing the same colour; all emphasising the cleanliness. But the real selling point of In N Out is the flavour, nothing tastes like In N Out.
I believe that there are a few out of states one now; there is certainly one in Las Vegas, but if you are in the Los Angeles area you need to see the Walk of Fame, see the Hollywood sign, and eat In N Out; everything else is optional.

Hot Here, but not that Hot

Seems the UK is getting hotter weather…. a lot hotter weather
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/07/21/leeds_heatwave/

Eating Out Etiquette

What a restaurant will do for you seems quite different here in the US than was the case back in the UK. There seems to be no problem asking them to share a main course or an appetiser between people; a good idea given the size of the portions in many restaurants here. We have even ordered a shared appetiser as our main course. If you have a significant amount of food left on your plate, the server will offer you a box to take it home and eat it later.

The most obvious difference, however, is in returning food. In the UK, I have sent a steak back for not being cooked the way I has asked. Here, it seems perfectly normal to send a dish back because you do not like what you have ordered. The server apologises, asks what you would prefer. This removes the greatest drawback to being adventurous when eating-out; if what you are served is not to your liking you can return to something you know you like.

Mind you, maybe restaurants in the UK would oblige if you asked, but my British reserve would prevent me ever asking in the first place.

Pool Party

My brother-in-law, who lives next door, has erected a pool in his back yard. It is about eighteen-feet in diameter and the water is three to four feet deep. It is not intended for swimming, but as a place to cool during the heat. He has several inflatable on which to lie, including one that is equipped with a cover, so that I can lie with my head in the shade. The most important one, however, is the floating drink cooler. It has room in the centre for ice and cans or bottles of drink and round the rim are five cup holders. Thus, you can float and drink without having to get out of the pool. (Purely to stay hydrated, you understand)

I was astounded by the number of pool shops that are within ten minutes of where I now live and these shops are big. Everything you need for the pool and a whole host of things you would know you needed until you saw them are available. Ironically, the reason I know that there are so many pool-shops was that we had to visit them all in search of a vinyl mending kit; all but the last one visited has run out.

LA Heat

In England people greet a sunny day by opening windows and rushing outside to bask in the welcome heat. Here in Southern California, however, the reaction is different. Warm sunny days are the norm and the temperature is routinely at a level that causes British newspapers to run headlines like “Phew, What a Scorcher!”. Most of the houses have their blinds drawn, to limit the heating effect of sun through windows. People avoid being outside during the height of the day, apart from short trips between buildings and cars.

I have had to add an extra activity to my morning shave; I spray SPF30 sunscreen on all parts of my body that might be exposed during the day. Since the climate makes wearing of shorts and polo-shirts, there is quite a bit more of my very white skin exposed that would be the case in the UK. I don’t think I have worn socks in the fortnight I have been here

Translations: Fortnight = Two weeks (Fourteen days)

Welcome to Culture Shock

Moving house is always a major undertaking; it is even more so when the new abode is about 5,400 miles away from the old one. Having spent most of my forty-one years living in England, I have moved to Los Angeles in Southern California (Actually to a city that lies about 30 miles to the East)
Despite the apparent similarities in language, this part of the world is very different from the country of my birth. I expect the weather to be cold and the beer to be warm. This blog is intended to record the differences that I experience, a set of observations on my culture shock, hopefully with a humorous slant.